Windy 90 in Ida-Washington

Day 8: Missoula, MT to Coeur d'Alene, Idaho

I was hoping to capture some of the magic of "A River Runs Through It," by planning our stay in Missoula. It was a nice little town, but I wish we had stayed in Bozeman instead - for many reasons and not just because John Mayer lives near there and does hang out in town when he's home. :)

We stopped at Bozeman for a driving break. It's situated outside the north entrance to Yellowstone and has breathtaking views surrounding it.  It has a very arts-centric vibe to it and it just felt young and creative. The library had a park and sculpture garden behind it where we let the kids and Lucy roam about for a bit. We were all glad for a break, even the car. I took the opportunity to alleviate the vehicle of all things sticky and trash-like. We all felt cleaner after that. 

After a long day's drive through Yellowstone to Missoula, we just ordered food and ate dinner in our  hotel room in Missoula. No need to torture the kids or local restaurant owners by trying to restrain wiggly little ones with chopsticks. We became aquatinted with bush people in Alaska on TV and called it a night. 

We hit the road Sunday morning and found ourselves going through the steep, twisty turns on I-90 through northern Idaho. Man I was stressed-out! I know some people love the thrill of taking fast corners and tight turns going up and down hills, but I have to admit that I was not comfortable driving through these mountains. It was absolutely beautiful country, but the thick forest of evergreen trees added to the maze of twisty roads and almost created for me one of those optical illusion pictures where the objects appear to be moving but aren't really because it's just in your head. 

I was most relieved and happy to arrive in Coeur d'Alene for two reasons: 1) it was gorgeous and 2) we got to meet up with some friends who had moved there from Maryland last year. We were all thankful to spend an extended time out of the car playing at the beach along Coeur d'Alene Lake. Ruby made friends with everyone along the lakeside. This means she helped herself to everyone else's beach toys, snacks and chairs. And since she can be very persuasive with her dimples, no one seemed to mind. 

We bribed the children away from the beach with a promise to play with toys at Elaina and Ian's house. Leo and Ruby had played with the same toys and just each other for a whole week and this offer was irresistible. "Friends? Toys? A house? Why yes, mother, we will follow you wherever you want us to go!" And I must admit, Pauly's extroverted nature was most happy to indulge in conversation with people other than "just me." It was nice having a short time of "normalcy" with friends after so many hours in the car and in hotels. Sweet refreshment indeed!

Regrets and Returns

Day 7: Cody, WY to Yellowstone to Missoula, MT

Blog Confession: I am already starting to feel sad because our journey across America is almost over. I don't want to leave Montana. I haven't run up any hills or chased any trails. I haven't yelled at the top of a mountain hoping to hear my echo return. I haven't gotten my feet wet in a river trying to catch fish. I haven't fallen asleep  outside under the big sky and its stars.   I've only watched you go by in a quick hazy blur from my car window. One day is not enough to take you in, Montana. Soon we will arrive at our new home and I will be thankful.  But I will miss you.

It has been exactly one week since we left Maryland.  To be honest, I was really unsure about how this trip would turn out. I was afraid that it would be one huge mistake; that the hotels and the driving and the kids would be awful and none of us would enjoy any of it.  And while we've had our rough times there's been so much goodness along the way--  my babies sleeping well in the same bed; hearing them laugh and play in the back seat because they had the car crazies; watching Pauly simply getting to enjoy living in one moment instead of balancing the usual circus of demands that live in his head. Times like these are rare and precious and I do not take them for granted.  And knowing that this journey is near its end makes me pause and reflect upon just how much we've experienced this past week.

We journeyed into the mighty Yellowstone National Park hoping to catch a glimpse of something before winding our way to the north exit en route 89 to Montana. To our delight, we spotted 2 rams, numerous bison, some elk and a couple of comedic marmots busily hustling up and down a hill doing marmotty things. There is so much to explore and we just didn't have the time to take enough in. This is definitely a place that requires several days to appreciate. Someday Yellowstone, we will come back to visit you.

Road Life

Day 7: Rapid City, OH to Cody, WY

I do believe we have settled into road life. Anyone notice how I was able to focus on South Dakota and not the kiddos in my last post? Yeah, we've all gotten better at how this road tripping thing works. Our days begin around 6:00am when sunlight breaches the perimeter of the blackout curtains in our hotel room. I'd like to blame the children for our early rise, but it's me. Always me. The light wakes me up and I try to pretend it didn't. I try to squirm back under the covers and tell myself they are not hotel sheets. But it is of no use. I know they are hotel sheets and so I am never fully comfortable. I walk to the bathroom as quietly as I can and when I open the door to try to sneak back into bed unnoticed, I am greeted by Ruby who sleepily says, "Mommy? Breakfast." Then the dog wakes up. Then Leo. Last of all, Pauly.

We grab breakfast in the hotel lobby. Waffles, always waffles. A half cup of "coffee" to keep the edge off until we can find the nearest Starbucks. An unforeseen event took place on our very first morning of the trip that has now become a regular feature: Explaining to the kids what they are watching on the news as we eat breakfast. We never watch TV at breakfast and I rarely watch the news with the kids at all because, well you know, "If it bleeds, it leads." I find that I also have to explain the commercials since the kids are mostly used to commercials in between kid shows and not grown-up shows.

Leo: Mommy, why are those doggies so sad and in those cages?
Me: Oh. Those doggies are in need of help and rescue.
Leo: Why are they all so sad?
Me: (swallowing a piece of waffle hard) Well, unfortunately... those dogs have been... mistreated and/or hurt and are in need of loving families to help them get healthy and be safe.
Leo: Was Lucy in a cage like that before?
Me: No, not Lucy. She was a puppy when we got her and was only in a crate for a little bit at the pet store.

I got up to get coffee and came back to this-

Leo: Mommy, those children on the TV have nothing to eat.
Me: Yes, my sunshine. Those children have nothing to eat. This is a commercial to ask people to send money to help them get food.
Leo: Why don't they have any food?
Me: (considering this teaching moment) Well, not everywhere in the world is like here. In some places, like the places in the commercial, the land in which those children live for some reason cannot produce the food they need because of drought or famine or other reasons like that. And sometimes it is because access to food resources is limited due to poverty or corruption of ...
Leo: Hey mom, look!!! Ninja Turtles!!
Me: Wha? ... Oh yes, Ninja Turtles.

And with that, we finish up breakfast, make our pilgrimage to Starbucks (thank you dear friend who gave us the generous gift card!), and hit the road. Pauly and I listen to the "Freakanomics" podcast. Leo gets to play his iPad and Ruby has happily been entertaining herself with "Pinkalicious" and "Fancy Nancy." When those cease to amuse her she sings to herself and watches the world go by out her window. After a couple hours we grab lunch where the locals eat and get back on the road. I pop in a movie for the kids and when that's done they either fall asleep or we talk, play games or sing to the radio together. All along the way we "ooh" and "aah" at the changing landscape. We arrive at our city of the night, unpack and then hit the town or park to see the sights.

We arrived in Cody too late in the evening to drive into Yellowstone last night so we settled for an awesome steak dinner in a saloon instead. BEEEEEEF. Wyoming was a sure change from South Dakota. The heavy overcast for much of the day probably had something to do with it. Wyoming just felt stark and bare and somehow more lonely at least for the first 3/4 of the drive. But that's okay. I love melancholy, too.  The landscape definitely changed as we drove and suddenly we found ourselves climbing snow topped mountains and were alternately driving between clouds and sunny skies with each curve around the mountain. We left the mountain and the terrain changed again, but this time the sun lit the sky to reveal what to me looks like true cowboy country. This is where I imagine cowboys and massive herds of cattle making their way against the elements and I hear John Mayer's "Badge and Gun" playing in my head ...

"Give me my badge and gun, give me the road that I may run, give me that peaceful wandering free I used to know... Give me my badge and gun, give me the songs that I once sung, give me those jet black, kick back lay down nights alone. The house is safe and warm but I was made to chase the storm, taking the whole world on with big ol' empty arms."

On an unrelated note, this meandering about the country has made me consider more the importance of states rights and local governance because the life I'm seeing being lived out among the middle is vastly different from anywhere I've been on either coast. Not talking about any specific issue. That is all I'm going to say about that.

Crazy for Crazy Horse

Day 5: Sioux Falls, SD to Rapid City, SD

Crazy for Crazy Horse

Day 5 

I have fallen in love with South Dakota. It started off much like where the other states left off -- farms, green, flat -- ‘Merika. And then the earth started to show off its curves. Rolling slow by my window the rise and fall of wide hills. Farms gave way to ranches. The cattle seemed to be just a little bit more wild and robust. The straight highway began to bend and twist bringing with each corner some new vista of lavish greens. Vast but not lonely. Comfortable in its own skin. Wild and tamed at the same time. We drove for hours in a content quiet letting the peace of our surroundings become our own.

And then we reached the Super 8. To quote “Anne” from Green Gables, “There is not much scope for the imagination” at the Super 8.

We fled the hotel as quickly as possible and found our way to Black Hills National Forest, home of Mt. Rushmore and the Crazy Horse Monument. I was afraid that Mt. Rushmore would be a let down. That it would be a giant work of vandalism against the wild of nature and another great show of how humans force the earth to submit to our will. But I was wrong. It was cool. It was big. And it was nestled in high above as though they were enjoying the beauty of the hills as well.

Beyond Mt. Rushmore in the depths of the hills to another rise and clearing lies the Crazy Horse Monument. It is many times the scale of Mt. Rushmore. It is incomplete. It is ambitious. It is solemn. It began as a plea from the elders of a Lacota tribe to a single sculptor to tell the story of their people as a final act of pride and defiance against a world that would move forward and forget a people and culture that lived with this land for ages. I did not know much about Crazy Horse or the importance of this area to his people, but I am compelled by their story to return again and again to watch the progress of this monument. It is a pure labor of love, dependent only on the contributions of those who believe in its importance. Not a dime of federal dollars has gone to this project. It is a monument undertaken on its own terms and nothing will interfere with the vision of the leaders and the artist who endeavored to bring this dream to reality. I am in awe and I am grateful to have had a moment at this monument.

“A very great vision is needed and a man who has it must follow it as the eagle seeks the deepest blue of the sky.” – Crazy Horse

A Tale of Two Rubies

Day 4: Iowa City, IA to Sioux Falls, SD

“It was the best worst of times, it was the worst best of times.” Oh dear sweet Ruby, where did you go? Have we ruined your pleasantly spirited disposition with too many hours on the road? Too much time in an itty bitty car seat with straps that confine your body as well as your whimsy? Too many nights in unfamiliar rooms? I am so sorry. So very, very sorry. We’re all sorry. Sorry that you cannot find your happy place and thus indulge in your angry place. No book is interesting enough. No snack will appease. No sleep will come. And we only just got on the road!

Poor Ruby. As soon as we began our drive from Iowa City, she was unable to settle in and was just miserable. And because she was miserable, we were all miserable. Oh how I longed for the good old days when kids could meander dangerously throughout a vehicle unfettered by seat belts and safety. I wish I could unstrap her and hold her in my lap to bring her some comfort. But I couldn’t and so we were miserable. It didn’t help much that the scenery from Iowa to Minnesota to South Dakota didn’t vary much. Look, there’s another farm! Another green hill! Another giant silo processing who knows what treasures of grains, grains and more grains! 

So when I couldn’t take it anymore, I pulled the car over for lunch an hour ahead of schedule. We found a place called “Dave’s Restaurant” (if that is indeed his real name) that seemed at first a bit ... closed?  Who knew what it was like inside but we decided to eat at local establishments instead of chain restaurants when possible. It was open and we headed in after first letting Lucy and the kids run a bit in square patch of grass across the street. The restaurant was more than open, it was bustling! It was a buffet and all day breakfast place. The wait staff was friendly and we all had very nice meals. It was just enough of a break. We got back in the car and I broke down and put on a movie for the kids on the lap top for the 1st time in 4 days of road tripping. My master plan worked. Ruby fell asleep half way through. Leo fell asleep after the movie. And I was left in peace to drive for an uninterrupted 3 hours.

When Ruby awoke all the unpleasantness had vanished. She “oohed” and “ahhed” at the puffy clouds in the sky. Cows were amazing to her and big trucks were a source of amusement once again. Thank God I got my happy little girl back! We arrived at our hotel not long after she awoke. We checked in, freshened up and then hit the town. 

We went to Sioux Falls park and a great time was had by all, even Lucy. We climbed rocks, looked at the falls, and were able to get the pent up energy from the day out into the open air. How good it is to run outside and play!

Mayhem with a Splash of Syrup

Day 3: From Zionsville, IN to Iowa City, IA

At this point you may be wondering what the deal is with our stopovers -- Athens, Zionsville, Iowa City? Aside from the cousins in Zionsville, Athens and Iowa City offer no great attraction for us other than that they happen to be where we want to be after the amount of hours we want to drive. Our choices had only 3 criteria:

1) They needed to be in the general direction of an actual point of interest.
2) They needed to be be about 5-6 hours from where we started in the morning.
3) They needed to have pet friendly accommodations.

I was killing myself trying to plot out a map that landed us at a major landmark each day. We'd have had to torture ourselves, the kids and the dog to make that many hours in the car happen everyday. Then I realized I didn't have to. By taking our time we are being kind to ourselves and are actually enjoying the road time. During our drive time, we will be passing through our landmarks during the middle of the day instead of at the end or in the morning. Works out well for us!

So Day 3 brought rusty treasure and a little geeky fascination with the show "American Pickers." If you haven't seen it, it's about a couple of guys who make their living driving around America digging through other people's stuff, buying it and then selling it in their store, Antique Archaeology. It's a lot more interesting than I make it sound. It's more a show about stories of America, Americans and the stuff that made their specific moment in history memorable. I like it because it takes me places in America I've never visited. The more you know, people!

We got to Antique Archaeology in Le Claire, Iowa in the early afternoon. Le Claire turned out to be a really cool town that definitely felt like it was it's own place, not dominated by big chain stores or overrun with people walking around attached to their mobile technology having to get from places A to B. Down the main street along the river speakers were attached to every few trees, providing a soft soundtrack for your afternoon stroll. On the river front was a covered pavilion, picnic tables and more music playing from above. There wasn't a festival or parade happening. It was just a Tuesday. I love that.

The store itself is just what it's supposed to be -- lots of rusty bikes, leather jackets, old machinery, dusty lamps -- all of it was what we see Frank and Mike pick in the show. It was definitely smaller than I imagined, but my imagination is pretty huge so this makes sense.  It took some time to take it all in, but after hunting, Pauly zeroed in on our perfect road trip splurge: a 1936 Philco Radio. It's wooden. It's old. It's scratchy. It's absolutely me! It will go quite nicely with the wooden cabinet record player I have back home.

After the lazy afternoon in Le Claire shopping, strolling and having ice cream by the river, we got back in the car for the hour-long drive to Iowa City. We checked into the Baymont Inn. I was greeted at the front desk by a multicultural staff of 1 Chinese dude, 1 Indian dude and 1 white dude. (The front desk man at the Super 8 was/is Indian). I only mention this because we were having a conversation with some friends before we left Maryland about what type of diversity we might find while driving through the country. Happy to say it's been easier than I expected!

We dropped our stuff off in our room, walked Lucy and went to dinner at Perkins, a sort of pilgrimage to one of our dear friend David's favorite places in the whole world. And this... this... is where we realized that 3 days on the road were beginning to take its toll on our children. Let's see where to begin... 4 milk spills within 2 minutes, persistent jumping up and down in the booth, Ruby wedging herself between my back and the seat backwards and pretending to be asleep and snoring loudly, wild and spontaneous "roars" from Leo, the unnecessary seasoning of hands and feet with the salt and pepper shakers, and then finally... Ruby flashing the entire (near empty) restaurant of senior citizens and then screaming "nipples!" for all to hear. Oh and then there was the moment when Ruby barked, "macaroni and cheese!" to the waitress the instant she stepped up to our table. It was only the end of Day 3. 6 more to go. Pray for us!

Day 2 Tidbits

1) Binoculars come in really handy when you're trying to make a semi-boring National Park ranger station more interesting for the kids.

2) Tip: Pack an empty photo album to put the small maps & tourist brochures you pick up at your stops throughout your trip instead of loosey-goosey on the floor. (I gotta try this).

3) Your child can grab 3 persons worth of paper towels in the public restroom but still have wet arms and hands after they throw them in the trash.

4) Your GPS may decide for you that taking country roads is what you really want to do in order to take in the fullness of the unfamiliar surroundings.

5) Playing 20 questions with Leo is hilarious.
Leo: Is it a tree?
Me: No.
Leo: No?! Then what is it?
Me: You need to ask more questions.
Leo: Is it an orca?
Me: No.
Leo: No! Then what is it?!

Beavers and Such

Day 2: From Athens, OH to Zionsville, IN

So... Athens, Ohio. That's all I've got to say about that.

< crickets >

Just kidding. Athens was a nice little stopping point to rest on our way to our first exciting destination. But more about that later. Athens answered some very important questions:

1) What is it like staying at a Super 8?
2) What is it like staying in a "Pet Friendly" room?
3) How will my kids do sharing the same bed?
4) Will the room feel "clean enough" for me to fall asleep?

We checked in at 9:30pm on Sunday night. The front desk man was secured behind a huge iron gate fortifying him against any possible attack that did not include small and perhaps explosive projectiles. Why did he need to be thus secured? I don't know. I did not want to think about it at the time. Other than that, the hotel was decently clean and near silent. Comforting? Creepy? Too isolated perhaps? Maybe all of the above. But again, I tried not to think about it. It was a great deal online.

The room itself was nicely clean. And to my surprise it did not smell "Pet Friendly" which was a great relief. I was expecting the worst and was met with pretty good. The night passed uneventfully. I mean, I didn't sleep, but I gave that up ages ago.  After getting the giddiness out and a firm word from daddy, the kids eventually settled down and fell asleep. Sure Leo fell out of the bed and defied my "chair-next-to-the-bed-anti-fall system." But he was fine and we all got a little unexpected amusement at 2am.

The morning came and we ate the free and non-tasty breakfast of waffles and brown water they call "coffee." The breakfast would have tasted better had the owners not scolded Pauly for pulling a chair up for Leo to watch him make the waffles. Apparently, Pauly could've started a fire behaving so recklessly.

After breakfast we stopped at the ranger station at the nearby Wayne National Forest and pet a real dead beaver. 2 Lessons: 1) Petting a dead beaver's soft fur is amazing. 2) Petting a dead beaver is also weird.

Finally, we grabbed some lunch at a mom and pop family diner and then hit the road for Zionsville, Indiana. Oh the treasure of Zionsville! Never heard of it? Well, you are missing out. Zionsville has special treasure and allows for unlimited laughter, shenanigans and a fun time for all. COUSINS!!! Really there is something to be said about the magic that happens when cousins get together. Leo disappeared the instant we stepped into their house and was not heard from until he and big cousin Colin came down the stairs with the Fart Gun blasting. Ruby delighted her heart in all things girly and dress-up and even got her toenails painted for the very first time by her cousin Ava: pink with sparkles.

The hardest part about visiting Zionsville is having to convince the kiddos to leave and head back in the car for hours to a place called, "Iowa." They don't think visiting the Antique Archaelogy store (from the show "American Pickers") can be as exciting as cousins. They are probably right.

Day 1 Tidbits

1) Had to tell Leo to put hand sanitizer on his feet because they were el stinko.

2) Dinner Conversation -
    Leo: Can I stay young?
    Me: Okay!
    Leo: Is 6 still young?
    Me: Yes.
    Leo: I'm really looking forward to being 6. Is 7 still young?
    Me: Yep.
    Leo: 8?
    Me: Yep.
    Leo: What about 20?
    Me. Yep.
    Leo: 25?
    Me: Yep.
    Leo: Hmmm. Not so young.

3) A little end of day delirium we shall call "smelling sister." And no, I didn't forget to wipe the lens before taking the video. You need to go to the eye doctor.

Pre-Trip Preparation Checklist

Pre-trip Checklist:

Preparing for a 8-10 day trip across the US to move your family to a new home can be overwhelming. However, we were able to get through it with relative ease and grace. Just follow our simple 6-step process below and it'll be a snap.

1) Pack all your belongings into a big truck being careful not to damage any friends' fingers or toes with heavy objects like pianos, riding lawn mowers or Super Love Sacs. Don't pack the pressure washer you borrowed from your friend in the moving trailer. Remember to take the last load of laundry out of the dryer to put in the moving trailer. Just trust me on the last two.

2) Have going away parties 3 nights in a row thoroughly allowing you to be an emotional wreck when it comes time to pull out of the driveway.

3) Pack only 1 suitcase of clothes for your family of 4. Only 1. This is code for 1 suitcase, 2 backpacks, 2 kid backpacks, 4 jackets, 8 pairs of shoes, 1 grocery bag of snacks, 2 acoustic guitars, 1 box of kids books and toys, 1 ramp to help the old dog get in the car, and a duffel bag of random clothes you forgot to take out of the dryer.

4) Don't get gas at Costco on a Sunday around 12:30pm.  Or hotdogs. Again, trust me on this one. But, if time isn't of the essence for you, then by all means Costco away.

5) Visit your old house one more time to mark everyone's heights on the wall, grab the Lightning McQueen potty seat from the bathroom and throw away the leftover pizza from the fridge.

6) Graffiti your favorite neighbor's front steps in chalk drawings one last time.

That's it! All that's left is for you to point your car away from everything and everyone you've known and loved for the past 10+ years and play the music so loudly in the car that your kids will hardly hear you sobbing in the front seat. If they ask, tell them it's your favorite song.

"The dog just barfed, pull over!"

We just handed over the keys to our little brick house in Catonsville, Maryland and jumped into our blue not-minivan to seek adventure and new life out west. As I dream of it, it will be 8-10 days of good music and podcasts, campy road trip games (two for flinching!), sour cream and onion potato chips, greasy burgers, and the unfolding majesty of this beautiful country. In this dream there are no, "Are we there yets?" Or, "Mom, she's not sharing!" And especially not, "The dog just barfed, pull over!"

As long as I'm dreaming, this road trip would also be the perfect opportunity for great discussions and to teach my 5 and 2 year olds about the history of little towns and how once upon a time people crossed this country by wagon, horse and foot. They would look at me and cheer, "Tell us more!" And I'd explain how people lived with the land according to the seasons and how whole communities grew and took care of each other through each harsh winter and bountiful harvest. At the end of each day, my littles would rest their heads on their pillows and thank us for letting them sit in the car for hours staring at miles upon miles of road. They'd proclaim that this is the stuff of life and far more interesting and significant than anything their iPad could offer. Then I would tuck them in and whisper, "Get rest now, we get to do it all again tomorrow." And they would let out one more big cheer and then happily drift off to sleep perfectly contented with the day's events and the promise of tomorrow's adventures.

And that's as far as my dream goes. After over 5 years of parenting there is too much reality lived to think for more than a moment that 8-10 days in a car with 2 pre-schoolers and a senior dog will look even remotely like what I just described. And I am okay with that. So this blog is for you, brave parents and curious non-parents! What does a real American road trip adventure look like with your mini-me's, both human and canine? Or better yet, what could it be like with a little creative energy? Join us on our journey west!